I am listening to voices once more. It occurs each month when my
obscenely giant medical health insurance premium is due. It looks like
there are two birds, one sitting on every shoulder, speaking into
an ear. On one shoulder is Pissed off-Cynical-Warbler, who’s
telling me that sufficient is sufficient, it is time to cease being a
idiot and drop the medical health insurance. On the opposite, is
Overly-Prudent-Squawker, who’s telling me if I drop it
I am going to lose all the things I personal and die from an simply treatable
ailment.It is not truthful. Different individuals who hear voices get talked to
by Jesus or Julius Caesar, or at the very least Elvis. Who do I get? Two
birds who wish to speak about inexpensive medical health insurance.
That is sick. I’ll do one thing about it proper
now.Okay you two birdbrains, pay attention up. You are going to settle
this entire medical health insurance factor as soon as and for all. Put in your
boxing gloves, or razor blades, or no matter it’s you utilize when
you imply enterprise, and have at it.Pissed off-Cynical Warbler comes out swinging. “You by no means
get sick! What do you want medical health insurance for? Take a look at your
father, he lived to 103 and wasn’t sick a day in his life.
He’d nonetheless be with us if it wasn’t for the mountain
climbing accident.”Overly-Prudent-Squawker punches right back. “Genetic
pedigrees don’t have anything to do with it! Accidents and diseases
occur in any respect ages. Your emotions of invincibility and constructive
psychological outlook do not change the truth that nobody is aware of what
tomorrow will carry. It is simply whistling within the
darkish.”
That was fairly weak, Prudent. Spherical one goes to
Pissed off.Pissed off retains Prudent on the ropes. “Have you learnt
hospital can not deny you emergency medical care? It would not
matter when you have insurance coverage or not, they need to deal with you.
Do not be a chump. Why pay when you will get it for
free?”Prudent slips away from the ropes. “Free? Are they going to
say you do not have to pay the invoice? No! They are going
to ship you a invoice so huge will probably be delivered on a pallet by a
fork carry. And when you may’t pay, they’ll garnish your
wages and place a lien on your own home. And what about
non-emergency diseases that are not life threatening? The
hospital can and can ship you proper again out the door. They
do not need to deal with you. However do not take heed to me,
I am simply being overly prudent….”Alright already, you made your level. You needn’t
be melodramatic. Spherical two goes to Prudent the drama
queen.Pissed off is undaunted. “Take a look at this medical health insurance
premium! What number of years have you ever been paying it? Month after
month, and for what? Nothing! You by no means get something! You pay and
pay and get nothing again.””Oh, that is traditional,” says Prudent. “You need
one thing again? Would it not make you are feeling higher to have a pleasant
coronary heart bypass surgical procedure, or at the very least a hemrhoidectomy, so you recognize
you are getting your monies price? You pay for automotive
insurance coverage. Do you wish to have a wreck so that you get one thing again?
Or perhaps your own home can burn down so that you get one thing out of your
house owner’s coverage.”Sorry Pissed off, you are beginning to get your butt
kicked. Truthfully, I used to be anticipating slightly extra out of
you.”Oh, you have been, have been you? Effectively simply watch this. Have you learnt
that your medical health insurance premium has gone up over 100 p.c
in simply the final four years?”Prudent takes that one on the chin and her eyes roll to the again
of her head. She goes down laborious.Hiya, Prudent, are you able to hear me? Are you there? Do you have got
something to say about all these fee will increase? Wait a minute.
Her mouth is transferring. I believe she’s nonetheless acquired some combat
left in her.”Are you my mommy?”Nice, my medical health insurance charges are going up sooner than sizzling
air at a political conference and also you’re searching for your
mommy. I do not assume I have to let you know that you just misplaced this
spherical.”I’ve got the perfect plan,” says Pissed off.
“You cancel your medical health insurance, wait till you get sick,
after which re-apply.”Overly-Prudent-Squawker makes it back to her feet. “Wait
till you are sick earlier than you get insurance coverage? I would wish to
hear that telephone name…’Hiya, Blue Cross, excellent news,
I am prepared to enroll. Are you able to ship over an agent? I am
at St. Vincent Medical Middle, room 311. And might you make it
snappy, they’re taking out my spleen tomorrow morning.’
In some way I do not assume that is going to work very
nicely.”
Pissed off punches proper again. “The well being care system is
damaged, and each time you pay your premium you’re supporting a
damaged, unfair system. Is that the kind of particular person you’re? Are
you afraid to combat?””Yeah, that is nice,” says Prudent.
“We’ll present them. We’ll transfer to Montana and
stay in a bomb shelter and declare ourselves a sovereign
nation….”Cease! Cease! This is not working. You two are simply buying and selling
punches and nothing is getting resolved. And you recognize what else?
I simply realized one thing. Reasonably priced medical health insurance
is not my solely drawback. You pests are my drawback too. Each
month you hang-out me along with your incessant squawking. You employ my head
to your personal non-public ping pong desk. Effectively, I’ve acquired some
unhealthy information for you. You were not in a position to make my well being
insurance coverage drawback go away, however my medical health insurance goes to
make you go away. I’ll use this insurance coverage to see my
physician, and I’ll inform him all about our little
month-to-month get-togethers, and he will get a anxious look on
his face and frantically scribble notes on my chart. And
then-drum roll please-he’s going to offer me a
prescription for some actually robust capsules that can make you two
disappear eternally. Ha!